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Dads, Daughters and Dress Codes |
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In
a recent article from New Man Magazine, the author discusses a
scientific theory called the Gestalt Theory. This theory says
that the human brain automatically tries to complete images that it
sees through the eye. An example of this is if I were to draw
a
circle, what would you say is the completed picture? Not
sure? If I added two dots in the upper middle inside of the
circle equidistant from each side, what would you say the picture would
be? Would you guess a smiley face? You would be
right.
Take this issue and couple it with
the
clothing styles that our junior
high and senior high girls are wearing these days—even in
church.
The young man's, or any man's eye for that matter, is designed to
complete the picture when it sees for example, low cut jeans—sometimes
below the underwear line on a teenage girl. I guarantee the
man's
mind isn't completing the picture of the young lady fully
clothed. This dynamic creates a distorted
reality. An
example is the perception by the male that the girl must "want it"
because she is showing "it" off and a perception by the girl that a
male is interested in her for any other reason than to use her body for
his sexual pleasure.
As dads we must understand that men are primarily stimulated sexually
through the eyes. When girls dress in ways the cause males to
stumble, they are driving men directly away from the very thing they
want—a man to appreciate them, understand them, love them and cherish
them. Instead, they are driving a guy—with all the hormones
raging through a teenage young man—to want to use the young lady's body
either mentally or physically for selfish sexual
gratification.
The girl just happens to be a useful piece of apparatus.
We need to open a dialogue with our daughters and teach them about
their bodies and how to properly dress in order to protect themselves
and the young men around them. We need to teach them that in order for
most young men to be able to appreciate them for their hearts they (the
girls) must be discrete and appropriate about showing their
bodies. I am not advocating any outlandish dress codes or
behavior but rather an acknowledgement of the over sexualized society
we live in and the sense to behave and dress in manner that is
appropriate. The consequence if we don't is that we invite
all
the "wrong" guys to befriend our daughters for all the "wrong" reasons
and we reinforce our sons to chase the wrong girls for the wrong
reasons.
Stuart Vogelman is the founder
of Pure
Warrior
Organization. For more information on sexual integrity for
dads and for issues like this visit www.purewarrior.org.
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