Guilty
or innocent—society is evenly divided regarding Michael Jackson.
I urge you to learn the facts about pedophilia and make your decision
based on knowledge; not media hype or legal battle. Ask
yourself:
"Would I allow my child to be friends with Michael Jackson and go to
his palace for sleep-overs—purely innocent—movie and pop corn in his
bedroom."
Studies reveal 62% of girls and 31% of boys will be sexually abused by
age 18 and this statistic is considered low. 80% of children are
sexually abused by a family member, 19% are abused by acquaintances and
according to government statistics 1% are abused by strangers.
The unbelievable reality is: Anyone who sexually abuses
children
may seem very average and ordinary to the world. He or she may be a
leader in the church, in the community or in business. Pedophiles
seldom fit a classic stereotype or social status as to education,
socioeconomics, career or cultural background.
Tragically, we find pedophilia even more difficult to believe or accept
when the person we like, admire, love, and/or marry is the pedophile.
Therefore, that is precisely why Michael Jackson's family, fans and the
uninformed can unequivocally believe he could not possibly be a
pedophile.
Pedophiles aren't born. They have deep emotional wounds created by the
emotional, physical and/or sexual abuse they experienced. Michael
Jackson acknowledges his father frequently beat him. The pedophile's
driving force is a compulsion to eradicate or soothe the emotional pain
they are in. To explain, not condone—the degree to which
their
behavior seems depraved is the degree of emotional pain the pedophile
experiences—i.e. a direct correlation to their childhood experience.
Pedophiles perfect an insidious modus operandi to thwart suspicion.
First and foremost they are experts at manipulation, thus escaping
adult responsibility. The majority reenact a similar or
metaphorical scenario of their own abuse. Thus, pedophiles
exhibit a sense of entitlement and justify their behavior as loving;
not harming the child. They expend untold energy maintaining this
illusion to themselves and others. They create a persona of goodness
beyond reproach, going to great lengths to present themselves as
exemplary people, who love children more than most. Anyone who sees
through this façade is met with admonishment and rebuke for being
critical, irrational, racist, judgmental or jealous.
Furthermore, the pedophile cunningly relies on the child's innocence
and trust, thus, pressure or violence is seldom required. The pedophile
can unequivocally state, "I love children. "Never. Ever. I could never
harm a child or anyone. It's not in my heart. It's not who I
am."
Michael Jackson, 1993.
The pedophile is society's emperor with no clothes. "I know my son, and
this is ridiculous," Michael Jackson's mother, Katherine Jackson, said
in an interview broadcast on CBS "The Early Show." She said people who
believe Michael is guilty "don't know him." Jackson's father, Joe
Jackson, said his son was beloved around the world but had trouble in
the United States because of racism. He said the accuser's motives were
clear: "It's about money."
A study of fourteen male pedophiles age twenty-one to fifty-four
revealed they believed they had a deep loving relationship with their
victims. One stated, "We had a relationship. Right or wrong, it was a
relationship." I am not suggesting that everyone who goes above and
beyond the call of duty for children are pedophiles.
Insidiously,
pedophiles demonstrate the right, moral and exemplary behavior to
develop credibility and establish proof of their love of
children—thwarting most suspicion of wrongdoing, thus allowing them
access to lure the innocent trusting child and/or parent into letting
their guard down and their common sense and suspicions to blur.
Using the updated definition of sexual child abuse, Michael Jackson's
ruse of fostering a self-serving relationship through the guise of
helping a child who might not otherwise have the opportunities he can
provide and to recapture his own lost childhood is classic.
Traditionally, incest was defined as "sexual intercourse between two
persons too closely related to marry legally—sex between siblings,
first cousins, the seduction by fathers of their daughters." This
dysfunctional blood relationship, however, does not completely describe
what children are experiencing. To fully understand all sexual abuse,
we need to look beyond the blood bond and include the emotional bond
between the victim and his or her perpetrator. Thus, a new definition
has emerged. The new definition now relies less on the blood bond
between the victim and the perpetrator and more on the experience of
the child.
"Incest is both sexual abuse and an abuse of power. It is violence that
does not require force. Another is using the victim, treating them in a
way that they do not want or in a way that is not appropriate by a
person with whom a different relationship is required. It is abuse
because it does not take into consideration the needs or wishes of the
child; rather, it meets the needs of the other person at the child's
expense. If the experience has sexual meaning for another person, in
lieu of a nurturing purpose for the benefit of the child, it is abuse.
If it is unwanted or inappropriate for her age or the relationship, it
is abuse. Incest [sexual abuse] can occur through words, sounds, or
even exposure of the child to sights or acts that are sexual but do not
involve her. If she is forced to see what she does not want to see, for
instance, by an exhibitionist, it is abuse. If a child is forced into
an experience that is sexual in content or overtone that is abuse. As
long as the child is induced into sexual activity with someone who is
in a position of greater power, whether that power is derived through
the perpetrator's age, size, status, or relationship, the act is
abusive. A child who cannot refuse, or who believes she or he cannot
refuse, is a child who has been violated." (E. Sue Blume, Secret
Survivors).
________________________________________________________________________________
Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD, a specialist in child sexual and physical
abuse prevention and recovery is the author of, If
I'd Only
Known...Sexual Abuse in or out of the Family: A Guide to
Prevention, a
lecturer and seminar leader on a variety of issues, a Certified
Hypnotherapist, a Diplomate of the National Board of Certified Clinical
Hypnotherapists, a Diplomate with the International Academy of
Behavioral Medicine, Counseling and Psychotherapy, Inc. and a life
member in Who's Who in American Women since 2000. Dr. Neddermeyer is
available for a free 15 minute consultation or interviews at your
convenience.
or 480-704-0603
