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Written by Ron Miller
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One definition of Parenting is to care for or raise one's
children. This is done in many different ways. I would like
to suggest a few simple steps that I believe will enhance your
parenting experience and bless your relationship with you and your
children.
Step One:
Know matter the age of your children, listen and respond to the things
that they say and do. Acknowledge them with appreciation and
genuine concern. For example, my 18-month-old daughter will say
"Sawa" as we look through her photo albums. Because I actively
participate in her life, I know that she is trying to say her name,
"Sarah." Each time she says this, I follow up by praising her for
her efforts. This is a positive response and it will encourage
her to talk more and more. This is one form of active parenting.
Step Two:
Learn to spend quality time with your children. Quality time
should not necessarily be measured by the length of time spent
together. Rather, quality time can be measured by focusing on
your child's wants and needs and not your own. For example, my
3-1/2 year old son Jacob will ask me to sit and play with his cars the
minute I sit down to rest. Though I may not feel like engaging in
this particular activity, I do it anyway. Because I actively
participate in his life, I know in this particular instance, he only
wants about 15-20 minutes of my time. Soon he is off starting another
activity. In this short period of time, I showed my son that his
interests are important and that I love him enough to spend time with
him doing the things that he enjoys. This is another form of
active parenting.
Step Three:
If you are divorced, try to promote a healthy atmosphere around your
children by talking positively about your ex-spouse while you are with
your children. I realize that this can be very difficult
especially if your divorce was strained. Keep in mind that your
children will only benefit from this situation by knowing that they are
loved by both dad and mom. You will only confuse your children
and force them to choose sides if you speak negatively about your
ex. Focus on your children's future. Show your children
what a healthy and happy family can be like. Knowing that this
can happen, you can prepare ahead of time to handle this issue in a
positive manner. This is another form of active parenting.
Listen and respond to your children. Spend quality time each
chance you get. Finally, promote a positive environment for your
children so that they may pass this on to their children someday.
May God Bless you Dad!
Ron Miller
Springfield, Illinois
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