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For The Sake Of The Children |
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Written by Vincent Kituku
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In 1972, life in my family changed-forever. After years of a
two-parents home, we became a three-parents family. My father married a
second wife. To this day, I don't know what is worse, polygamy in
modern times or divorce, for children. However, both negatively impact
children's emotional, mental stability and sometimes their performance
in life...
In 1972, life in my family changed-forever. After years of a
two-parents home, we became a three-parents family. My father married a
second wife. To this day, I don't know what is worse, polygamy in
modern times or divorce, for children. However, both negatively impact
children's emotional, mental stability and sometimes their performance
in life.
It was in this state of vulnerability, I remember my mother explaining
to me that I and my young siblings needed our father, though not always
present or approachable, for our upbringing. I can never thank my
mother enough for sacrificing her self worthy so that we could brought
up under the authority of a father and mother.
Today, single-parent family is a fast growing institution. A single
parent can provide meals and pay the bills. But more is needed for a
child to develop in all areas of life and that calls for spouses to
really consider their children future before turning to divorce as a
way out. I also know that in situations where one parent has passed
away, God has a way of compensating for roles of the missing parent,
especially if he or she is a strong believer, gets support from the
church, relatives and community.
Fatherless families dominant the single family trend of our times. In
cultures where relatives do not get directly involved in raising
children, fatherless children are not provided with an adult male's
physical protection. Further, those children lack a complete
environment that promotes sound development of identity, character, and
values that are essential in their future when they become parents.
Think of the fatherly influence of Bible characters like Abraham,
Isaac, Jacob to their sons. In the case of Isaac, he re-dug the water
wells his father had dug after the philistines had covered with dirt,
and called them the names Abraham had named them. How could he have
known where the wells were, or how to dig them, or their names, if his
father was absent? Or think about the spiritual influence of Lois
(grandmother) and Eunice (mother) to Timothy's spiritual growth.
Marsha Reed's article, "A mother's confession" mentions that becoming
single parent by choice, disregarding "the importance of two-parent
households is a thoughtless, selfish act that has created a generation
of fatherless children." She adds that 2 out of 5 children in American
live in the absence of a father. A startling figure is that half of
African-American children go home to fatherless families. Then Marsha
states that "children with out fathers are twice as likely to live
below poverty level, more likely to engage in drug and alcohol abuse at
earlier ages and commit delinquent acts more frequently."
The Bible teaches us, as God loving people, to provide for our
households (1 Timothy 5:8). This includes providing our presence and
support for our children's spiritual, emotional, mental and physical
development. Putting meals on the table, providing shelter and material
goods for children is great. But what matters in life is we leave in
them. Work positively on differences so that children can be given the
opportunity to be brought up by two parents. As parents, we are in a
mission field to nurture the soul, body and mind of each child we raise.
For the sake of your children, divorce should not be the first solution to your marriage concerns and challenges. |
