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Written by Derek Meche
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Have you ever seen those WWJD stickers? When I first saw them I
thought it was a new radio station in Baton Rouge. I then found
out it stood for What Would Jesus Do. Someone had come up with a
catchy phrase to make us think about the moral implications of our
actions. While thinking up a subject for an article this month, I
decided to borrow this theme. So, being as how I am a divorced
father, I have decided to ask myself, what would Jesus do.
Even if you are not a spiritual person, you can use this phrase to make
you stop and think about the moral implications of your actions.
This month's Knights of Columbus magazine has a picture of Jesus and
St. Joseph on the cover. Many Christians will remember that God
spoke to Joseph and called for him to take Mary into his house to rear
the Son of God as his own. After finding Jesus in the temple,
very little if anything is said about him. I am not a Bible
scholar so don't quote me here. The point is that God recognized
that fathers are important to the lives of children. He needed
Joseph to care for and protect Mary and Jesus. The Bible does not
say when Joseph was called to Heaven, but we do know that he provided
his family while he was on Earth.
What does this have to do with being a divorced father you ask?
Well, given that we are not full time in the lives of our children,
some would diminish our role. There are some that would say that
the mother is doing all of the work while the father visits.
Well, well my friends we turn to South Louisiana now for our example.
For many years, oil production has been the backbone of the economy in
our section of the state. Much of this production is done
offshore. The men who work on these oil rigs and the boats that
supply them often work a 7 and 7 or a 14 and 7 schedule. That's 7
or 14 days at work and the other 7 off. When I say at work, I
mean just that. These guys work a 12-hour shift, then take off
for 12 hours on the rig. They live out there on the drilling
platform for time they are at work. When the hitch is up, they
take a boat or are flown in for their 7 days off. This means that
mom is watching the children while dad is away, and dad takes over when
he is in. I can remember many of my friends making vacation plans
around their dad's schedule. Many of these children grew up happy
and healthy with dads who were there roughly half the time.
Granted that this is not the ideal situation, but it can work.
There are many examples throughout history and in psychological studies
that point to the importance of fathers in the lives of their
children. Fatherville.com, Louisiana Dads, and other sites have
many resources you can use. Research is great; so is networking
with other dads. Our fathers probably just called it, "getting
advice." What it really boils down to is being there for your
children, and leading with your heart. We must be firm and
loving, caring and compassionate.
There are many forces out there that would seek to separate us from our
children. A lot of social workers who work with battered spouses
would seek to have men removed from the lives of children all
together. During the 70's and 80's they had a free run on the
legal system. I view them in this way; everyone needs to have a
T1 line in there home and at least an M7310 in every room. That
last sentence doesn't make sense to most of you right? These are
terms used at my job that I am trying to impose upon you. Of
course you don't need all this phone equipment in your home.
Neither do we need the social engineering that they are
proposing. These people do great work with abused and neglected
spouses, but that is all they do. Therefore their experience, at
times, can cloud their judgement. If all you see all day are
people who have been abused, you tend to think this is normal.
These people deal with a small and very bad part of society. They
can not make restricting rules that would hurt good people. Keep
this in mind if you have visitation problems based on this. If
you are a good person and you are faced with this, take comfort.
Search your soul for the truth and realize where these people are
coming from.
The more research I do in this area, the more I am encouraged.
These social engineers are loosing ground quickly. I think God is
setting the tables right, and showing us that fathers do matter.
The Bush administration has a fatherhood initiative that they are
pushing. Louisiana Dads had a link to it and other articles on
page two of our site. Fathering is making come back in this
country and throughout the world. Just keep your head up and
remember that you are important to your children, even if you are there
part time. Take care and "lead with your heart." Happy
Father's Day to all!
Sincerely,
Derek Meche
Derek is President: <a href="http://www.ladads.org" target="_blank">Louisiana Dads</a>.
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