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Make the Best of What You Got |
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Written by Administrator
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Are you still angry at the outcome of your divorce? Do you feel as
though you and your children are being punished as a result of your
divorce? Do you feel hopeless at times regarding your relationship
with your children? I hope that what you are about to read will give
you hope and that it will encourage you to "Make the Best of What You
Got."...
Are you still angry at the outcome of your divorce? Do you feel
as though you and your children are being punished as a result of your
divorce? Do you feel hopeless at times regarding your
relationship with your children? I hope that what you are about
to read will give you hope and that it will encourage you to "Make the
Best of What You Got."
Let's face it; divorce is not fair. One party (mom or dad) will
almost always feel like they were cheated. However, when children
are involved in a divorce, you really should work to get over the
losses of finances and material possessions as soon as possible.
It doesn't seem to matter what state you live in, the fact is, that
most every divorce case is going to favor the mother when children are
involved. In some cases it will even be very lop-sided.
Regardless, I ask you this one question. What is more important,
recouping material losses or building a lasting, loving relationship
with your children? This is a very real question that we divorced
dads must face everyday.
I can only tell you from my experience that when I decided that my
children were more important than money or lost time, then and only
then did I begin to understand the true joy of fathering. I had
to make a choice to either continue to be bitter or make the best of an
unfortunate situation.
Dad, we are all pretty much in the same boat. We are divorced,
responsible to pay child support for our children, and in some cases
maintenance to our ex-spouse, and we don't get to see our children as
much as we want to. This is enough to make any father feel
cheated. However, I never looked at my children as being a part
of the property settlement of my divorce. Rather, my children are
a gift from God that I was given responsibility to love and to
raise. I am equally responsible for the rearing of my children
and for this reason, I take great joy in fathering my children and I
take it very seriously.
When I exercise my visitation with my children, I choose to fully
participate with them no matter what we decide to do. There is so
much to be learned about our children every time we are with
them. There is so much good information that you can pass along
to them. Look at it this way. If you are not happy with the
outcome of your divorce, take responsibility for it. Start
teaching your children to love and to treat others with respect. You
have the power to either be a good or bad influence in their
lives. Every time you are with your children you are making an
impact in their lives. Your children will either want to be just
like you or they will resent you based on your relationship wit them.
Dad, though life may not always seem fair, you still must take
responsibility for yourself. Part of this responsibility is to
"Make the Best of What You Got."
May God Bless all divorced dads.
Ron Miller
Springfield, Illinois
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