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Written by Ron Miller
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I don't know about you but I never realized how many areas of my life
divorce would impact. Unfortunately, divorce is very devastating and
it takes time to heal from all of the hurts that come with it. As
divorced dads, we have a choice on how to respond to all of the issues
concerning our divorce. We can continue to fight, blame and be angry,
or we can choose to "Take the High Road."...
I don't know about you but I never realized how many areas of my life
divorce would impact. Unfortunately, divorce is very devastating
and it takes time to heal from all of the hurts that come with
it. As divorced dads, we have a choice on how to respond to all
of the issues concerning our divorce. We can continue to fight,
blame and be angry, or we can choose to "Take the High Road."
Taking the high road is not easy. It may include listening to
your children complain or tell you how things are different at mom's
house. It may also include hearing false innuendos from your
children coming from your ex-wife about you. No matter how many
stones are hurled, you can still choose to be the leader and example to
your children that God called you to be.
Just because we are divorced doesn't mean that we lose our rights as
fathers. The only thing we really lose in divorce is "time" with
our children. It is very unfortunate that we must submit to a
third party (court) to tell us how and when we get to see our
children. Just remember, you are still the only dad your children
will ever have. There may be another man or even a step-dad in
the picture, but you will always be their "only biological
father." It took me awhile to realize this and now that I
understand it, I want to be an even greater father to my
children. God called you and I to be the fathers of our children
and it will always be our role and responsibility.
Here are some steps you can consider to follow that can help you as you "Take the High Road."
1. Choose to accept your divorced situation just as it is. No
matter how bad or good it really is, there is always room for
improvement. Begin doing research and talk with other divorced
dads on steps you can take to be an even more effective father.
Don't be too proud to read articles or books on what it takes to be a
good dad. It can only make you a better dad.
2. Give your children your complete undivided attention while you are
exercising visitation. You only have them for a limited time so
make the time count. Don't waste the time by arguing with your
children over issues that pertain to you and their mother. Solve
those issues with her directly during non-visiting hours.
3. Finally, if you are struggling with depression, anxiety, or anger,
please do you and your children a favor by going to counseling.
If you avoid getting help in these areas you may only make things worse
not only for yourself but for your children as well. Don't pass
along these character traits to your children. Remember, you are
responsible for modeling good or bad character traits to your
children. Which ones do you want to pass along?
The road you choose is totally up to you. You can make a world of
difference in your children's lives. Choose to "Take the High
Road dad."
May God Bless all divorced dads.
Ron Miller
Springfield, Illinois
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