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Recently, I had to leave town for a business conference that would keep
me away from my family for a few days. This wasn't a move to
antartica, hardly...but it was a 6 hour drive. Just enough to make
it a 'journey'.
The day before I left, I told my 6 year old daughter that I would be
gone for a few days, (thinking that I would get a response that
wouldn't hit my guilt button). Well, I got the usual questions,
where, when, how, and who is going with you. I answered
most of the questions to her satisfaction. However, the fact that
she wasn't coming along made for a few problems.
Typically, I will quell those concerns with something like, 'Daddy will
bring you a surprise when I get back.' This usually helps
sugar coat the situation so I can feel good about leaving her.
The next day as I was preparing to leave, she became upset and vocal
about me leaving. The 'surprise gimmick' wasn't working
today! She told me she didn't want me to leave, and that she was
worried that she wouldn't see me again. I chuckled and tried to
dismiss the comment as ridiculous... of course Daddy would be back.
I managed to console her, re-direct her to other things of importance
to her and left. During my drive, I kept thinking of what
must be going on in my daughter Megan's mind. Then I began to think of
a host of scenarios that could be a self fulfilling prophecy.
What if I did have an accident along the way? My mind began to
retrace comments I had made to her, and more importantly, the time that
I had spent with her and my wife the previous 24 hours. What if that
was the last time I would see them, for whatever reason? It has
made me think, as I'm sure, many fathers and mothers do.
...Time is such a gift, and more often than not, parents are so busy,
that time is one thing that can easily be pushed aside to 'more
important things'.
One of my post conference goals is to make more time for my
family. We are going fishing this coming Saturday. My daughter
loves to grab worms, and watch what they do. I really don't care
if we do any serious fishing or not, but the gift of time together will
be the highlight of the day.
I hope fathers have found this message earlier than I. Make time for
your family, they are the greatest assets we as fathers have.
Mark Cavis
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