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Divorced Dads: Shattering the Myths |
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Written by Roger F. Gay
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Divorced Dads: Shattering the Myths
Authors: Sanford L. Braver, Diane O'Connell (Contributor)
J. P. Tarcher, 1998
Hardcover, 288 pages
Special Price: $17.47 U.S.
ISBN: 0-874-77862-X
Divorced Dads:
Shattering the Myths
July 22, 2002
Roger F. Gay
Divorced Dads: Shattering the Myths
is a book that should never have been written that everyone should
read. Myth has guided domestic relations and welfare reform in the
United States and elsewhere. That should never have happened. This
book, which shatters some of the most prominent myths is an absolute
"must read" for anyone with an interest in family law and welfare
research and policy - which I conclude is just about everyone.
Divorced Dads: Shattering the Myths, first published in 1998,
presents a compilation of research on divorced fathers by Arizona State
University psychology professor Sanford Braver. Braver's was the
largest federally supported study of divorced fathers in history. Since
then many reviews have been written but I have observed that the myths
are not yet completely dead. It must be that not everyone who should
read Sanford Braver's book has done so.
Take for example, recent testimony before a child support guideline
review panel in Indiana. (If you would like to see the entire internet
broadcast of the hearing through RealOne media player, click here.)
A school teacher testified that she is going through divorce and "not
receiving child support." She has a presentation in lesson form for the
judicial panel, just like she would in class she says. It was complete
with play money as a prop. "Some of you have received three dollars ...
and some of you have only received two. The persons who have received
three dollars represent the non-custodial parent ... Now the two
dollars that the mother would have represents not only her income but
also what is given to you for child support. That's all the money that
you have. ... Your main expenses are food, clothing, and shelter and
that does not include child care costs and those can be very great."
No wonder some people say that we need standardized school materials.
The school teacher is teaching a myth. Some studies claim that women as
a group make only two thirds as much as men. But that does not include
child support (child care costs are typically added to basic child
support), alimony, property division, tax benefits nor any other
financial arrangements specifically related to divorce. Following
divorce, women as a group are financially better off than men. Some
women, especially those who remarry are far better off than the
husbands and fathers they left behind.
One more time. Six major myths fell to actual research.
- Deadbeat dads: Divorced fathers pay 90 percent of the child support
they have been ordered to pay. Fully employed divorced fathers pay all
that is due. In addition, they pay visitation expenses. [Depending on
the extent of the research providing the result, fathers (all fathers
including never married) pay 70-80 percent of what they have been
ordered to pay. The low end - 70 percent - relies on recipient surveys
that do not account for money that is paid but withheld as repayment
for welfare, and possible bias. In all cases, the primary cause of
non-payment is that the person ordered to pay is unable to pay.]
- The No-Show Dad: The rate of contact between fathers and
their children following divorce shows "paternal devotion and tenacity
[that] is entirely at odds with the more popular image of the runaways,
absentee, or disappearing dad."
- Standards of Living: Women with children are, as a group,
better off financially following divorce than men. That's right, it's
not the other way around.
- Terms of Divorce: Far from being docile, easily manipulated
victims of a male dominated divorce system, women have always fared
well in negotiations and settlements. Men are far more likely to be the
biggest losers in the process.
- Emotional Issues of Divorce: Women are happier after divorce
than men. Given the results related to the other myths, this is likely
to cause the least surprise. They have the children, they are better
off financially, they drive better cars, their situation is less likely
to interfere with new relationships and remarriage ....
- Who leaves the marriage ... and why it matters: " ... women
initiate the preponderance (63 - 75%) of modern divorces ..." It
matters because it vindicates the finding that men do less well then
women after divorce, because the blame heaped on men for divorce should
be addressed, and because the myth serves to further unlevel the
playing field of domestic relations law and politics on which fathers
are already disadvantaged.
Other reviews of Divorced Dads: Shattering the Myths were written by;
Copyright © 2002 Roger F. Gay
Roger F. Gay is a professional analyst and director of Project for the Improvement of Child Support Litigation Technology.
He has also been an intensive political observer for many years
culminating in a well-developed sense of honest cynicism. Other
articles by Roger F. Gay can be found in the archives of Men's News Daily and Fathering Magazine.
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