Let's face it - the things required these days to raise a child are
expensive. Things can cost a lot of money - school fees, fashionable
clothes, sports activities to name just some as a scratch on the
surface. The way to control some or all of these costs is to train and
teach your son/daughter to see things from your point of view and help
them understand.
Teach them about budgeting and having a strategy that separates needs
from desires. Teach them early! For example, your response to their
begging and pleading will form a behaviour in them [if you have made
mistakes in this areas you can change - start now]. Teach them that
good times don't have to cost much - picnics, hikes, long talks.
Emphasise that experiences are often better than things, make Christmas
and birthday gifts meaningful rather than expensive.
Teach them the value of things by giving them an allowance and avoid
becoming a bank for them. Our son's demands for high fashion brand
names changed dramatically upon receipt of a regular clothing
allowance. He very soon felt the choice between designer and regular -
one shirt or several. Surprisingly he chose several - an option that
wasn't previously available when we went shopping with my money.
It is good to sit down with them and explain your family budget [we did
this one time as youth leaders with our youth group --it was
enlightening to see just how much they didn't know about this topic].
Show them the size of your rent/house payments, the telephone account
and the amount you have to spend on water and utilities to light and
heat your home [at least it will give context to you telling them to
turn the lights off when they leave a room]. Show them your income and
how little you have left every week/month. Their allowance then becomes
their mini salary and you can talk to them about savings, tithe, fuel
costs [if they drive], eating out etc. - help them to develop budgeting
skills early in their life. You can also tell them that a credit card
is wrongly named as it is a debt card.
In their budgeting skills - start now, help them by setting general
guidelines for their spending. Avoid being too specific as we all know
we need to be flexible to allow for unexpected costs or opportunities
to enjoy ourselves. Avoid having 'their money' and 'our money' - rather
let them experience the consequences of over spending and under saving.
Be a good example
Be open and honest
Begin early
It can be done.
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Nigel Lane has been a full time youthworker for over 11 years and has
grown 3 teenagers of his own. More articles and information can
be found by visiting http://www.TeenCoach.org or by emailing him
