Practice is a critical element of being proficient in any sport. Golf is no different, as any true golfer would admit. Sure, there are certain elements of golf that make it unique in comparison to, say, oh I don't know, football, but every sport has its own individual characteristics that make it what it is. The "it" being, someone, somewhere, decided to make it competitive or include some type of scoring matrix, thus breathing the life of "sport" into it. You would never have seen pig tossing in the First Olympic Games, but now it is a bonafide sporting event. (It's amazing what large consumptions of alcohol by Mid-Westerners results in being called a "sport").
But back to the sport at hand and it's own idiosyncrasy, namely, golf. Non-golfers, traditionally called either "wives" or "real hard working Americans with real jobs" may not view golf as a sport, but rather as a past-time, or a recreational activity, sort of the way that I look at all events in the X-Games. But try walking into Lucky's Bar and Grill on Main Street in Bluefield and tell Junior McCall that dart throwing is not a real sport. Be careful when you pull the dart out of your fore head after that, and be sure to pull straight out, any slip to either side will result in a nasty scar that you will have to tell lies about how you got for the rest of your life. Trust me on this one.
So let's just all agree that golf is a real sport for the purpose of the article, and get back to how important practice is for you to get better at this sport.
One option is the driving range. You pay money for a bucket of balls that you wail away furiously at while trying to hit the old broken down green VW bug that is 200 yards away. This is the mark of a classy driving range in my experience, one that has objects for you to hit. (Admit it, at least once last week while driving you thought, "Hey, 20 points for hitting the pedestrian", or at least I hope you did, and if you did not, then neither did I). These are also the courses that someone has to walk around and pick up all the practice balls with a unique device that sucks them up into a big net that is strapped on his back, a sort of golf ball vacuum. (If Oreck could master this, my home vacuum cleaner could actually pick up the 1500 Cheerios off the living room floor.)
25 points for hitting the golf ball pick up man.
Then, of course, there are the courses that have the cage enclosed golf carts with super sweeper suction devices attached to the back of them. They are driven around the course by convicted DUI offenders, as a form of community service, who try to drive over the golf balls so that the super sweeper sucks the balls into a super sweeper golf ball storage contraption, while we, having paid money for a bucket of balls, try to hit the driver squarely in the forehead. Of course, he is protected by the cage, but I have heard golfers more excited after hitting the armored DUI golf cart than hitting an ace on the 1st hole.
"Oh, yeah baby, I nailed him!"
A hole in one can be considered luck by the opponents, but hitting the caged golf cart while he is driving 5 miles per hour in the opposite direction of where the golfer was aiming, 80 yards away, is precision target practice. 10 points for hitting the armored cart.
Practice, that is what we were talking about here. In particular, how to practice golf with your children, even though I use the plural, I really mean child, as in one, any more than one child practicing golf at the same time could result in you having to ice groin areas for hours at a time. Trust me on this one also.
So, where is the best place to practice golf with your child? Obviously the golf course is out of the question. This is the time to play the game, not work on your back- swing (and yes, Mr. Funk, I do have a "funky" swing). After all, you wouldn't teach your son the mechanics of proper baseball spitting during a game, would you? Of course, not, you practice that for hours on end in the privacy of your own back yard. Which me brings me back to the question, where is the best place to practice golf with your child? The answer is in your back yard.
The reasons why?
* It's free * There is no dress code * You get to meet the next door neighbors that you have been meaning to since you moved in 2 years ago (only use the plastic practice balls, real golf balls will result in a less than positive first impression) * You get the gutters cleaned out (You hit it on the roof, you go get it is my motto, unless of course I hit it)
So have fun, practice in your ragged Stones tie-dye T-shirt, and above all, when you need the right answer, Go Ask Your Dad.Michael lives in Jonesborough, TN, with wife Heather, and children,
Ashley, Dylan, Hannah, Emily, and Anthony, and is currently completing
his first book of fatherly parental advice, The Great All-American Dad
Misconceptions. "Go Ask Your Dad" is a syndicated column that tackles
the difficult sports related issues that have been asked of a father of
5 over the years through a humorous perspective. There are always sage
(even if not completely practical) answers when you "Go Ask Your Dad".
Any comments and questions can be sent to Michael Vaughn at
, and other sports articles can be read at www.tricitiessports.com
