One of the best things about being a parent is knowing that your
children need you. Even though it can be tiring at times, you feel good
when you are able to take care of her needs. By the end of the first
year, she will begin to develop new skills. She will become more
self-reliant and often want to do more for herself. Parents are often
surprised and disappointed when their lovable, manageable baby turns
into an
independent, busy explorer who says "No!" Even though your young child
can do more things for herself, she needs you now as much as ever. Your
child needs you to firmly set limits for her behavior. She needs your
guidance to learn how to get along in the world.
What Is Good Discipline?
The word "discipline" actually means to teach. The discipline you use
to get your child to behave teaches her about herself and about her
relationships to others. Good discipline sets limits and rules and
helps a child focus on how to follow the rules. Good discipline doesn't
punish a child for making mistakes. It teaches her what to do instead.
Some people think discipline means spanking or shouting cruel words to
make children suffer enough so that they will never do wrong again.
Unfortunately, this kind of discipline teaches a young child the wrong
things. It teaches her that the world is unpredictable and unsafe. This
type of discipline teaches a child that if no one is watching, she can
get away with "bad" behavior. It also teaches a child that threatening
and hurting people is how to get them to do what you want. Wise parents
understand that good discipline teaches a child to behave even when
parents are not around. They know that a child will be better behaved
in the long run if parents act like caring teachers rather than angry
"bosses." They know that a child does not need to be taught "who is the
boss." Instead, a child needs to know how to get along with other
people. Your child will work very hard to please you when you treat her
with love and respect while setting fair and firm limits on her
behavior.
Discipline For Pre-aged Children
Children younger than 3 do not understand rules very well. Sensible
parents know that it is important to explain and enforce important
rules anyway. They also know that young children may not always follow
them. Children who are 3, 4, and 5 are better able to follow simple
rules that you set. At this age, children's skills at using and
understanding language are better. Their ability to remember things has
improved. They can understand that there are consequences for breaking
rules. Still, they are not very sure of why it is important to follow
rules, other than to please you. In time, your child will learn why
good behavior is important if you take the time to explain calmly what
the child has done wrong and what is the right way to act. You can help
your preschool- aged child behave and follow rules by doing these
things: Make simple rules and follow through on them. Offer simple
reasons why misbehavior is not acceptable. Give children limited
choices. Be a good example yourself.
Parents Are Partners In Helping Children Behave
In a few short years, children grow from babies who are entirely
dependent on their parents for their every need to talking, running,
independent preschoolers. In spite of all this rapid growth, young
children are only beginning to develop the skills to control their
behavior. They have a lot to learn about how to control themselves. You
need to be your child's partner in this process, patiently guiding and
teaching as your child practices and develops these skills. Teaching
young children how to behave is hard work. But the work you do now will
pay off later in the form of youngsters who are responsible and caring
people. Currently employed as a Research & Developement
Technician, Joseph Luisi is a 40-year old single father from Meadow Lands,
Pennsylvania. Joe received his Associate of Science Degree in General Studies
in 1997 at Allegheny Community College. Joe became a divorced, full time father in
1998. You may email Joe
.
