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How to Give Your Child A Priceless Legacy |
In today's world of microwave speed, channel surfing and drive-through
everything's (including weddings), words like "traditions", "family
roots", and "legacy" seem to fit more comfortably in a discussion of
times gone by.
"A hundred years from now, it will not matter what my bank account was,
the sort of house I lived in, or the kind of car I drove...But the world
may be different because I was important in the life of a child."
Unknown
I wanted to impact my young son's life in a positive way. I wanted to
give him a legacy to know the great worth of his own roots as a person,
to understand his own value and beginnings. The problem was, I wasn't
sure how to do that.
Then one day, my wife Mary was talking to her best friend, Bobbie.
Bobbie told her of a unique thing she was doing for her two young
children, Mamie and Carl. She had been keeping a journal about their
young lives, recording the various things they did as they were growing
and experiencing life. She said it was something she thoroughly enjoyed.
One of the things she said was fun to do was to take out a journal and
read some of the past entries to her family. Everyone liked remembering
the experiences of the children's earlier youth, many of which
occasions were long forgotten. Her youngest, Carl, especially loved
hearing stories about his adventures when he was quite young, what he
used to say and how he would do things. She said he would also
excitedly ask at the end of the story, "Did I really do that, mom?
Really?" She also said he would laugh and enjoyed hearing of his
youthful accomplishments.
Mary and I discussed the idea of having a journal for Adam, and we both
agreed it would be a great thing to do. We decided that I would be the
one to keep it, so that week I went out and purchased a journal for him.
Right from the start, I found writing in his journal to be a great
experience in some unexpected ways. I decided to keep my entries
simple. I wrote them like I was writing a brief letter or note to Adam,
one he would read years from now. And since I never seem to have enough
time, I only wrote in this journal for 10-minutes once a week.
You'll also see in the following entry one of my favorite things to
write about is Adam's little victories in his young life. When you look
closely at the little victories today, you get a glimpse at the
exciting potential that awaits your child's future.
Dear Adam, November 1 (4yrs old)
In Monday's swim class, your swim teacher said halfway through the
class, "Let's leave the children's pool and go to the big pool, now."
The class is made up of 3, 4 and 5 year olds, and suddenly, several of
the children started to whimper. You came up to me and did the same.
Soon almost all of the class was crying because they were afraid of the
deep big pool.
Well, you all made it to the big pool, and within two minutes, you were
all laughing and splashing and having a great time. You got brave and
started jumping off the side of the pool, and others started to follow
your example. You swam with and without your floaty. You did a great
job and gained a lot more confidence.
By the end of the class, you were all complaining that you didn't want to get out of the big pool. What a change!
Love,
Dad
Rarely do people get a close up look at their early roots of their
developing successes. This is a precious part of a person's heritage
that is usually lost forever.
Family traditions are a wonderful part of a family's roots or heritage.
Traditions your family enjoys, or rituals, don't have to be reserved
just for major holidays. Anything you do repeatedly that is planned and
has positive emotional significance is a tradition or ritual. It
doesn't matter how young your child is. It can also be something very
simple.
The following is one of the first rituals or routines Adam and I experienced together.
Dear Adam, June 10 (1yr old)
For a while, we were having a challenging time when we put you to bed
at night. Many times after we put you in your crib, you would cry and
cry. It seemed like even though you were tired, you just didn't want to
leave us. But then, your mother came up with a great solution. She
suggested that since I was gone all day at work, that I spend some time
with you one on one before you went to bed. So, what I've been doing is
taking you up to your room when it's time for bed and talking to you.
We talk about all the fun things you're going to do tomorrow. Actually,
I do all the talking and you put your head on my shoulder as I hold
you. I also usually tell you a short story. Then I tell you how much
mommy and daddy love you and about all the people that love you. And
before I put you down in your crib, I sing you a song or two. Now,
mommy can sing much, much better than daddy, but you don't seem to mind
my singing. And after all that, when I put you down, you seem content
and peaceful and usually go right to sleep.
Love,
Daddy
That's an entry that brings me back to a very special time in my life
with my son as a new father. It was the beginning of a father-son bond
that I treasure greatly. And I'm so grateful that because of the
10-minute journal, my son will get a glimpse of that special time we
shared together.
Then there are the legacies others leave behind by the examples of
their lives. This can impact the next generation more profoundly than
any riches left to them in a will. The example of Adam's grandmother's
life in this next entry demonstrates what I mean.
Dear Adam, April 13 (9yrs old)
It's almost been five months since your grandma Forson passed away peacefully in her sleep. You were very close to your grandma.
As I reflect on grandma's influence in my life, she gave me three gifts
I will always treasure. They are her love, her beauty and her spirit.
Her love was unselfish, something she gave generously to others. If you
got sick, she didn't just say take care of yourself. She called you
back long distance with a list of vitamins she researched you need to
take with the types of food you need to eat. She did that because she
really cared. She was the type of person that would put the needs of
others above her own.
Her beauty was her second gift. Because of her great beauty she could
appreciate true beauty. She loved the beauty God created all around
her. Sometimes she would get up early and go to the ocean to have a
front row seat to admire the sunrise. On her last trip to Arizona, she
marveled at the beautiful rock formations in Sedona and expressed her
gratitude for being in the presence of such a beautiful sight.
As an accomplished artist grandma was also a creator of great beauty.
But of all the beauty she created, her greatest work was the beauty and
love she created in her family.
The third gift of grandma's I will treasure is her spirit. Your grandma
was a true optimist. It was difficult to be down or sad around grandma.
To her life was wonderful, life was beautiful, and thankfully, her love
for life was contagious.
It gives me great comfort to know that because of the influence of
grandma's love, beauty and spirit, you, mom and I will always enjoy a
precious part of her in our hearts.
Love,
Dad
I'm grateful to have an entry in Adam's journal of how his grandma's
influence touched the lives of the many family and friends that knew
her. Adam's grandma was a very special person to him, and fortunately
thanks to this journal, I was able to capture over the years the kind
of memories that cannot be found in a photo album.
Still pictures and videos are great and we enjoy them, but with a
journal entry you get the kind of pictures cameras can't see. I've
heard it said, "If a picture is worth a thousand words, then a mind
picture is worth ten thousand pictures." Typically a picture from a
camera captures a posed moment when you had the camera available. With
a journal you can reflect back over the entire week and capture the
meaningful aspects of a memorable experience. You can create wonderful
mind pictures giving the rich details that are invisible to the
photographic lens.
This journal uncovers a unique type of biography, a history of your
child that is rare and priceless in many ways. Biographies are
typically reserved for the elite of society. They are for the powerful,
the famous, the rich, and the superstars. With this journal, your child
and his descendants will have a treasure even the highest ranks of
society can only dream about. It's a record for the future of how your
child's life unfolded as it was happening.
Hodding Carter tells us: "There are only two lasting bequests we can
hope to give our children: One of these is roots, the other is wings."
I believe through your child's greater understanding of their own
roots, both their roots and wings become strengthened. By understanding
their own success roots, their bonding roots with a parent, and the
character roots of a family member who has passed on, your child can
enjoy the priceless treasures only this unique type of journal can
bring.
By Dad named David
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