As the year came and we mutually decided to finally have a child (the big three Ohh woke us up to that fact), I thought, Okay, time to put away the fun, the expensive toys, the dream of a sports car. I was ambivalent, not exactly dreading it but not sure what to expect. Our magazine subscription changed from Condenast Traveler to Parenting. We got the children’s package for our cable. What to Expect When Your Expecting became the main book on our coffee table. I breathed in, let out a sigh, and said good-bye to my old life, with a little bit of sadness.

Then one morning at the doctor’s office, I heard a little heartbeat. I burst into tears. Any yearning thoughts of my old life evaporated, the flashy dressing of a childless life full of glamour puffing into the meaningless illusion it actually was. What material possession or sense of freedom could compare to that little tap tap tap? We had a living human being with a strong heart growing within our midst. 

I had recorded the heart beating as a forty-second clip. I took it to the office with me and listened to it several times a day. With three and a half grey cubicle walls surrounding me, everything turned to color when I placed on my earphones and listened to the rhythmic tap of my child. Now I wanted to be a parent. It felt much more real than anything my wife and I had accomplished together thus far. I wanted to meet this little one more than anything else in the world!

Perhaps something switched in my brain, or I finally came to realize the important things in life, but I lost interest in a lot of the activities I was doing up to that point. I know of people who grumble over the change in a friend when they have a baby, but I know now why this change must occur. It’s a reorientation of what becomes most meaningful to you, which is the love and support of your family. 

This doesn’t have to mean cutting yourself off from everything around you – with us, it actually brought us closer to our friends. Sure, the first few months were incredibly tough, but we invited friends and family over often, and our daughter became familiar with them. One of my best friends became her godfather. 

I never had to say good-bye to my old life, its just that some activities have now been replaced with, to me, much richer and more meaningful activities – an evening on the town turned into walks with a baby carrier and my wife while the sun set in the sky. Buying expensive gadgets became shopping for toys I knew my daughter would giggle and coo at. These are things I now love doing. 

I’m not saying it’s all been smooth sailing. She did have colic, leading to lots of nail biting, lots of sleepless nights and frustrations when she wouldn't stop crying. Feelings of leaving everything behind, or of just dropping her at the back of a hospital surged in both our sleep-deprived minds, as I'm sure every new parent has. I laughed when the community health nurse said that the colic will end. But it did, and we got through it. At four months, she began smiling, and her eyes continued looking at the world in wonder and excitement. 

I believe that just being there will help her grow into a great individual. I certainly know things will be tough, and that all our lives will constantly change, but if I’m always there, I think we can overcome anything. After all, time moves quickly, but the more I spend with her today, the more I will spend with her tomorrow.