Are you still in shock? I sure was. The thought of bringing two babies
into the world at one time scared the heck out of me, especially since
I was already the father of two boys (ages five and three). I
remembered how much work the first year was with both of them, with all
of the diapers, the bottles, the sleepless nights, etc... I wondered how
in the world we were going to do it with two babies? I immediately
started stressing out about all of things that we were going to go
through once the babies were born. Little did I know at the time that
the most stressful part of having twins was already upon us...the
pregnancy.
I did not know at the time that a twin pregnancy is not at all like a
single pregnancy. With our first two pregnancies, it was relatively low
impact for me (I know, all of the women reading this are rolling their
eyes, especially my wife). But to my wife's credit, it's true. I
figured I had about eight months to play as much golf as I could before
the birth of the twins, and that's when I would really have to become
involved. After all, my work was already done for the time being,
right? Boy, was I wrong!
There are many things that happened during the pregnancy that surprised
me, or that no one told me about. I'd like to tell you about some of
those things here, so maybe you'll be a little more prepared for what
happens during a twin pregnancy than I was.
First, pre-term labor is fairly common in a twin pregnancy. I didn't
even know what pre-term labor was until it happened to my wife. This
was definitely the most stressful thing about the pregnancy, and it's
something that I don't remember anyone warning me about. Maybe my wife
mentioned it to me, but you know how it is, there was probably a ball
game or something. My wife went to a routine check-up at about the 25th
week of pregnancy. After being gone for an abnormally long time, she
phoned me from the hospital and told me that they were keeping her
overnight because she was having contractions. What a shock! I couldn't
understand how that could be so early in the pregnancy. The babies were
less than 3 lbs. each at the time, so we were both extremely worried.
They wound up giving her medication to stop labor and kept her in the
hospital for a couple of days. This was the first of four trips to the
hospital to stop labor. The good news was that the medication that they
gave her successfully stopped the contractions each time, and she was
able to carry the twins past 36 weeks.
Second, prepare for bed rest. My wife wound up going on bed rest for
about the last four weeks of the pregnancy. This is a very common
occurrence for a twin pregnancy, so you need to prepare yourselves for
it. We were fairly lucky because my wife was a stay at home mother, so
we did not have to worry about her taking time off from her job. We
were also very fortunate that my mother-in-law was able to come and
stay with us during that time to help with our two boys and to help out
around the house. I'm not sure what we would have done without her. My
advice is to recruit family and friends if you can to help out. But
however you do it, take bed rest very seriously. Make sure you're wife
stays off of her feet. There's a good reason why many mothers of twins
are put on bed rest by their doctor, and that's so she doesn't go into
labor too early. You want your wife to carry those babies as long as
she can for the health of your twins. Oh, and needless to say, golf was
just not an option while my wife was on bed rest.
Third, don't expect a full-term pregnancy. It very rarely happens with
twins. The goal of a twin pregnancy is to carry them at least 36 weeks.
Once you reach that mark you are considered to be out of the ‘danger
zone'. Even though 36 weeks is the target, many twins are delivered
earlier. What this means is that you have less time to get everything
ready for the new arrivals. I would suggest getting the babies room
ready earlier, start buying those baby items that you need to purchase,
get things done around the house that need to be done. During this
pregnancy, you may not have time to wait until the last minute!
Finally, you are about to embark on an emotional and stressful, next
few months. It was truly an emotional roller coaster for us. I'll never
forget our fourth trip to the hospital because of pre-term labor. My
wife started having contractions again at around week 34. The babies
were both more than 5 lbs., so we were sure that they would just let it
go and we could finally deliver the twins. We thought that the twins
were big enough and strong enough to be born safely, so I packed up the
overnight bag and the camera and we headed for the hospital, positive
that we were going to finally have the twins that day. After all of the
other trips to the hospital, we were ready. Once we got to the hospital
we were immediately put in a delivery room. And then the contractions
stopped...all by themselves. We asked the doctor to induce labor, and he
refused, for the safety of the twins. Of course he was right, but we
were both devastated. We were just emotionally and mentally exhausted.
My wife cried all the way home.
My best advice to you is to try to stay calm, help and support your
wife (she truly is doing most of the work), and trust your doctor's
advice. Remember, you're goal is to try and carry the babies at least
until week 36, which will greatly decrease the chance of complications
with the birth of your twins. Do everything you can to make this
happen. Trust me, even though a twin pregnancy is a very trying time
for the mother and the father, its well worth it once those twins
arrive!
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is the creator and moderator of http://www.twinadvice.com, a site created by parents of twins, for parents of twins.
