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Become Your Child's Best Advocate |
I am sure you know by now, and if you don't, you will soon enough,
being a mommy and a daddy for your "special" child is not your only
job. I don't mean your regular care giving duties every day or your
routine doctor visits, and I say routine lightly, because I remember
how routine soon became typical. I am talking about also being your
child's advocate. In other words, their backbone, support, their own
little manager per say, especially for your child's education.
Some of you are sitting there thinking either your baby is too young or
there is no reason for my child to go to school due to their condition.
Wrong! Every child has the right to have a chance to learn whether it's
at home or a school setting. It doesn't matter if you are a parent, a
doctor, a teacher, a friend, or anyone in between, you MUST believe ALL
children are worthy. You do it for them because they are your children
and you love them and miracles happen every day! No matter what, these
children are our life and our joy, and we want them to get the best out
of what life they have. Even if we are not with them always, in
particularly at school, being the best advocate for your child can help
reassure them as well as you. The next steps you will need to take are
simple to become the very best you can be for your child. You can apply
them to doctor visits, school meetings, etc.
·Believe in yourself and your abilities—remind yourself that you are
important and have a right to be involved in your child's decisions.
·Deal with your perceptions or feelings about yourself as a parent of a
child with special needs. Don't let feelings of anger or denial get in
the way of your ability to negotiate.
·Be prepared for all meetings, doctors, school, etc. Know ahead of time
the important points you want to make. Ask relatives and friends for
their input. Make a list and take it with you.
·If possible, take someone with you to take notes, to help you make a point, or to provide moral support.
·Learn to communicate assertively, rather than passively or
aggressively. An assertive person clearly and positively states his/her
point of view and takes into account what others have to say. Other
people generally respect an assertive person.
·Share your dreams and your vision for your child. Talk about your
child's strengths, interests, abilities, needs, and what things you
would like your child to do better. Suggest the kind of environments
and/or supports and services that you believe will maximize your
child's abilities.
·If you don't understand something, don't be afraid to ask for an explanation. (We are all guilty of this.)
·If you don't agree with something, speak up and say so. Give facts to
support your point of view, or just say it because you have a gut
feeling. At least you will get it off your chest.
·BE WILLING TO LEARN FROM OTHERS. BE OPEN-MINDED AND A PROBLEM-SOLVER.
·Show that you want to listen. Look and act interested.
·Understand your rights, as a parent of a patient or a parent of a student. Acquire knowledge.
·THE ULTIMATE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR CHILD'S GROWTH AND EDUCATION IS
IN YOUR HANDS. REACH OUT TO PROFESSIONALS WHO CAN HELP YOU BUT DON'T
GIVE YOUR RESPONSIBILITY OVER TO THEM. YOU ARE THE CONSTANT IN YOUR
CHILD'S LIFE AND YOU WILL NEED TO MANAGE AND COORDINATE THE SERVICES
HE/SHE NEEDS AS PROFESSIONAL PEOPLE COME AND GO.
Although they seem easy and some complex, at different times, one task
will be easier one day than it is the next. You will live and learn. As
long as you feel, deep in your heart, you are trying your best, the
rest will come in time.
I could tell you not to get down on yourself, but I won't. I have had
those days, and I know I will have more. Train yourself to accept what
you can't change. Deal with the dilemma the best you can after you've
taken "5" minutes to panic and cry and pull yourself together. Believe
me, in time, all it will take is "5" minutes, and if you still feel
overwhelmed, tuck the kids in bed, take a nice hot bath, and then
finish breaking! Always keep your cool around your kids no matter how
difficult. Allow them to be kids and worry free. And, if you feel
you're ready to pull out all your hair, talk to your family, your
friends, or email me. I would love to hear from you!
Take care, and I hope you and yours are well.
Carole Grisham is an editor and writes for BellaOnline's Special Needs Children
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