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Written by Jay Cookingham
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We
watch the images of the battlefield brought to us with high
definition graphic intensity, the sights and sounds of war shake the
adult mind with repulsion and unbelief. The exposure to TV news reports
of terrorism attacks and the war in Iraq can be difficult to handle as
an adult, they are extremely difficult to filter as a child. My five
year old recently asked a question posed by many of the multiple
newscasters, "Daddy, are we winning the war?" This made me realize just
how much he was paying attention while I flipped through the various
cable news channels. I have seven children that range from infant to
teenagers, each of them reacting in different ways to these events.
So how does a father help his kids deal with war and terrorism? Here a
just a few suggestions and ideas to think about, maybe they will fuel
ideas of your own.
· Limit the exposure to TV/Radio news depending on the age of the
child, the younger the eyes, the more they should be protected.
· If they ask questions, answer them as honestly as possible, again
give age appropriate answers. Use words that they can understand and
take in. When discussing the events with preteens and teens, more
detail can be appropriate.
· Remain calm, reigning in emotions and opinions before discussing the
events with your kids. They will feed off your state of mind and well
being.
· Watch the responses of your kids, they will reveal a lot of how they
are feeling through those actions. After September 11th, my four year
old made tower after tower out of his legos, "for the ones that got
knocked down" he would say. Watch closely and see how they are reacting
to the news they hear.
· Also watch for physical symptoms of anxiety that children may
demonstrate, nightmares, headaches, and excessive worry. These and
other signs like them can alert us to the nervousness level they are
feeling.
· Most of all, assure them that they are loved and they are safe.
Remind them of the promises of God and how He protects His children.
Reassuring your children that they are loved will comfort them in the
midst of these difficult times. Pray often for and over them, hearing
these prayers will ease doubts and fears.
This is by no means an exhaustive list, just a few starter points that
I pray will help. I encourage you to study your kids, they will "tell"
you one way or another what they need from you. Be alert and diligent
in guarding their minds, hearts and spirits, in doing so you will be
guarding your own as well.
Blessings,
Jay
"We do not seek peace in order to be at war, but we go to war that we
may have peace. Be peaceful, therefore, in warring, so that you may
vanquish those whom you war against, and bring them to the prosperity
of peace."
St. Augustine
A father of seven,
Jay Cookingham has been happily married to his wife Christine for 22
years. Although trained as a graphic designer, Jay has been writing
poetry, short stories and articles for as long as he can remember. A
featured columnist at Fatherville.com
, Christianwriters.com
,ibelieve.com
,and
Crossmap.com ,
he also writes a weekly e-mail newsletter for fathers. His "Seven
Promises from Your Husband" was featured on the Ken Canfield's radio
program Today's Father
. Recently published in the God's Way series for Fathers, the
series for Teachers and Christmas.godswaybooks.com , He
is currently writing his first book on the subject of fathering.
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