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Dads, Daughters and Dress Codes… |
In a recent article from New Man Magazine, the author discusses a
scientific theory called the Gestalt Theory. This theory says
that the human brain automatically tries to complete images that it
sees through the eye. An example of this is if I were to draw a
circle, what would you say is the completed picture? Not
sure? If I added two dots in the upper middle inside of the
circle equidistant from each side, what would you say the picture would
be? Would you guess a smiley face? You would be right.
Take this issue and couple it with the clothing styles that our junior
high and senior high girls are wearing these days—even in church.
The young man's, or any man's eye for that matter, is designed to
complete the picture when it sees for example, low cut jeans—sometimes
below the underwear line on a teenage girl. I guarantee the man's
mind isn't completing the picture of the young lady fully
clothed. This dynamic creates a distorted reality. An
example is the perception by the male that the girl must "want
it" because she is showing " it" off and a perception by the girl
that a male is interested in her for any other reason than to use her
body for his sexual pleasure.
As dads we must understand that men are primarily stimulated sexually
through the eyes. When girls dress in ways the cause males to
stumble, they are driving men directly away from the very thing they
want—a man to appreciate them, understand them, love them and cherish
them. Instead, they are driving a guy—with all the hormones
raging through a teenage young man—to want to use the young lady's body
either mentally or physically for selfish sexual gratification.
The girl just happens to be a useful piece of apparatus.
We need to open a dialogue with our daughters and teach them about
their bodies and how to properly dress in order to protect themselves
and the young men around them. (1Cor. 10:32) We need to teach
them that in order for most young men to be able to appreciate them for
their hearts they (the girls) must be discrete and appropriate about
showing their bodies. I am not advocating any outlandish dress
codes or behavior but rather an acknowledgement of the over sexualized
society we live in and the sense to behave and dress in manner pleasing
to HIM. The consequence if we don't is that we invite all the
"wrong" guys to befriend our daughters for all the "wrong" reasons and
we reinforce our sons to chase the wrong girls for the wrong reasons.
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Stuart Vogelman is the founder of Pure Warrior Ministries. For more information on sexual integrity for dads and for issues like this visit www.purewarrior.org.
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