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Talk To Your Sons About Sex… |
I was listening to a presentation on sexual addiction recovery
recently. The speaker Scott Oja from Pure Desire Ministries
mentioned a survey of men from a recent men's conference they had
sponsored. At the conference, they asked the men how many of them
had spent any focused time talking with their sons about sex. The
response shocked them. Out of 600 men in attendance only five
admitted to having a focused discussion with their sons on this issue.
If we, as fathers aren't talking to our sons about sex; if they can't
come to us to get accurate information, where are they getting their
information? Experts tell us they are getting it from their
friends (who know as little as they do or less) and from pornography.
And the pornography is most likely being accessed through the
internet. Should we be surprised that our sons are being
sexualized at earlier and earlier ages? Most children and teens
are accessing porn at home between 3pm and 6pm when their parents are
still at work. Is your home, internet access protected? Do you
have a password on your computer? Do you filter your internet
access? Have you talked with your child or teen about this issue?
The Bible tells us in Proverbs 22:6, to teach our children in "the way
they should go." This is especially true in a society that is
constantly bombarding our young sons and daughters with sexually
explicit messages through commercials, the internet, magazines, and
video games.
So how do we get started talking to our kids and teens? Bringing
Up Boys by Dr. James Dobson is an outstanding resource for fathers on
raising boys. I also recommend the following books for use in
talking about these issues with your boys. Preparing Your Son for
Every Man's Battle is an excellent starting point. This book by
Stephen Arterburn is an excellent book for Dad's and son's ages 11-15
years old to do together. For older boys and single men ages
16-21 years old, Every Young Man's Battle is available by the same
Author. There are books for young girls as well such as Every
Young Women's Battle by Stephen Arterburn. Remember, one of
the most powerful things you can do when talking to your son or
daughter, is to share appropriate stories, fears, and experiences from
your youth. This helps create a bond with your son or daughter
and helps allay their fears. Go for it!!! You'll both be blessed.
You can order these books and more at the Pure Warrior Ministries, Book Page or visit our website at www.purewarrior.org.
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Stuart Vogelman is the founder of Pure Warrior Ministries. For more information on sexual integrity for dads and for issues like this visit www.purewarrior.org.
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