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Written by Jay Cookingham
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I
had to brush up on one of my languages yesterday. I speak seven
different languages, all with varying degrees of expertise and fluency.
Although I've studied this particular language for some eight years
now, there were several phrases I couldn't quite grasp.
In taking to my language instructor, He reminded me that the best way
to learn any language was to immerse myself in the culture of the
tongue that I'm trying to learn and He said quite simply "You have to
take the time".
So I left the culture of "JAY" and moved to the couch of our family
room, sat down with my eight-year-old and conversed in the language of
"Matthew". There was one area in Matt's life that needed
adjustment and to this point I had not been fluent enough in Mattese to
help him make that change. Over the course of the next hour through the
help of the Heavenly Father, I was able to pick up some much-needed
phrases that brought the connection I wanted to make with my son. When
I saw in his eyes the fact that I fully understood him, it was amazing.
The floodgates opened, he released his spirit and we cried together for
quite some time. We had bridged a gap together, but it took his father
though a journey of self-discovery as well.
It really begins with us allowing the Father to love us as sons,
getting to that place where we hear Him call our name, knowing the
pleasure He takes in us. When we sense the overwhelming satisfaction
Father God has in us, we can move in the same way towards our own
children. There is approval when the Father calls our name, not shame.
There is loving correction when He calls our name, not condemnation.
There is acceptance when He calls our name, not rejection. When we as
fathers dive into that reality, we can be all He wants us to be.
Fathering is not easy; I fail also, and there are times when I don't
know what to do next. I take comfort in knowing that I can ask and
receive forgiveness from my children and my status is enhanced in their
eyes, not diminished. It's an opportunity to compare my fathering with
the Heavenly Father and point out how He never fails. Fathering is
about birthing as well; we give birth to dreams in our children and
learn along with them. We flesh out His love by creating an atmosphere
for them to discover their place in the Kingdom, encouraging,
correcting, coaching, giving them a reason to believe in the same God
we do. All these things speak loudly with the language of the Father,
developing a dialog of relationship with our kids in the process.
Blessings,
Jay
A father of seven,
Jay Cookingham has been happily married to his wife Christine for 22
years. Although trained as a graphic designer, Jay has been writing
poetry, short stories and articles for as long as he can remember. A
featured columnist at Fatherville.com
, Christianwriters.com
,ibelieve.com
,and
Crossmap.com ,
he also writes a weekly e-mail newsletter for fathers. His "Seven
Promises from Your Husband" was featured on the Ken Canfield's radio
program Today's Father
. Recently published in the God's Way series for Fathers, the
series for Teachers and Christmas.godswaybooks.com , He
is currently writing his first book on the subject of fathering.
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