The introduction

After my wife split up with her ex, he went on to find a woman whom he eventually married, and subsequently divorced. The two relationships produced three children - one child in the first relationship, and thus two in the second. My stepdaughter is the oldest of the three.

Because of work, a couple of years ago we moved to the same town where the ex, as well as the “second wife” and her two children happen to live. My wife and the “second wife” get on very well. She occasionally visits us with the children. It’s okay with me, although the additional set of “non-stepchildren” is sometimes a bit much for me.

Babysitting

Not long after we arrived, we agreed to baby-sit the two children for an afternoon. It went quite well. The children entertained themselves most of the time. However, I noticed my wife looking tired and encouraged her to take a nap. I assured her that I was quite capable of taking care of the children on my own, and decided to take them to the beach. My wife seemed fairly pleased about getting us all out of the flat for a while, and the kids were thrilled about the prospect of beach and ice cream.

The beach  

The children were in the water before the word ‘go’. I placed myself on a spot overlooking a part of the beach, so I could keep an eye on them. I had coffee and read the paper, and took time to enjoy the view. To my right there was a beautifully restored medieval castle with gardens stretching all the way down to the beach. To my left, at a distance, a huge hardwood forest, and in front of me the rolling hills on the other side of the Bay.

It gradually dawned on me what a peculiar situation I had placed myself in. I was watching over another man’s children. The children were sweet and very easy to handle, and came to me, I believe, much as they would to their own father. Yet, I suddenly found it extremely odd being there. Why wasn’t he looking after his children? Why on earth was I spending my time looking after a stranger’s children? In addition to this, I realised that the father of the children actually lived within walking distance from where we were. In theory, he could be out taking a stroll. An encounter on the beach in this situation would probably be anything but pleasant, I imagined.

The wives appear

After about an hour, the mother of the two showed up, as promised. She sat down on the blanket to my left. Later, my wife appeared and sat down to my right. We had more coffee, chatted about a bit of this and a bit of that. It was in many was a very pleasant and relaxing moment. Still, I was becoming increasingly confused emotionally. There I was - with my own wife to my right, and the “second wife” to my left. The children were playing in front of us, interacting with us as a group of parents. From a rational point of view, all could be explained of course. Nevertheless, I really felt the situation bizarre – it really was quite a first for me.

Walt Disney Revisited

I didn’t know what to make of my feelings. I really had mixed emotions about the whole thing. Were these feelings normal? Were they okay? Was this feeling of confusion “normal” – what ever that means? Would others feel strange too in a similar situation? Would others just regard it as one of these things? Was I being overly sensitive? The questions kept racing around in my head.

It might be a combination of too much coffee and too much sun, but for a split-second I thought of myself as being caught up in a mix between Lion King and the Jungle Book, spiced with a bit of Danish social-realism. It was almost vintage Walt Disney. I was the new he who had taken over the little flock. I had the two shes by my side and the cubs were running around beneath our feet. At that moment my job was protecting the flock, and the only major concern (rational, or not) was if the dethroned male would reappear on the scene. He would either face the facts and accept the situation, or challenge me.

You may call me a simple soul, but the metaphor worked for me, and having discovered it I felt much more at peace with the situation. There was no challenge that afternoon, and we all quietly and peacefully headed home after a fine day in the sun.

In the evening, I wrote down in Danish what had happened, just describing the events of the day. My wife read it, saying: Yes. So what? We went to the beach. Indeed. It was just another day at the beach.