|
Here's a New Year's resolution that
always makes sense: read more. It's free (if your county
supports its local libraries), fun and — best yet — lets
you off the hook from making other silly resolutions like "I
won't eat any chocolate this year" or "I'm
going to get the most use that I can out of that computer that Santa
brought me. I owe it to him."
If you're an expectant father or a new father, then your
significant other has probably placed the books What to Expect When
You're Expecting and What to Expect the First Year beside your comfy
chair in the living room. Hint-hint. These two books are at
the top of any young family's reading list and, generally speaking,
that's a good thing. The What to Expect series provides a
ton of interesting, useful information for both parents.
However, dads do need to be forewarned: be
prepared for occasional attacks on your parenting abilities — or
supposed lack thereof — when reading What
to Expect. As you innocently read
about baby care — bam — words like these appear:
"Unless something he's doing might endanger the baby
(throwing her up in the air, for instance), don't be quick to
comment on your husband's flubs. He's more likely to
learn from his own mistakes (or your good example) than from your
criticism." OK, thanks for that one, authors.
So, I've taken it upon myself to come up
with four outstanding "dad books" that should leapfrog What to Expect on your
reading list. The first two books were released this past year,
the next two are classics.
First up is Homegrown
Democrat by America's finest
humorist, Garrison Keillor. Whatever your political persuasion,
please don't be put off by the seemingly partisan title of this
book. The title ought to be Homegrown
American. Keillor, host of Public
Radio's A Prairie Home Companion, packs a lifetime full of wisdom — in the form of
biography and philosophy — into an easy-to-read 238 pages.
Keillor is honest, insightful and to the point and
has provided — unintentionally, I suppose — a blueprint for
dads on how to raise a good, caring kid in today's complex
society. His guiding lights, learned in his own youth, include:
distrust of privilege and power; equal rights among citizens; being
inclusive and integrationist, while valuing individualism; having
sympathy for the helpless, especially children and the elderly; and
being rooted in courtesy and kindness. Can't go wrong with
that.
My second suggestion is Dress Your Children in Denim and
Corduroy by David Sedaris, who also may be America's finest
humorist by way of Public Radio, come to think of it. This is a
collection of previously published essays and every one — yes, every
one — is hilarious. The reason I suggest this book for dads,
though, is for his essay "Baby Einstein." Skip the other essays
and read this one first.
I've heard many funny birthing stories
before from friends and family (us humans can find the humor in
virtually any situation), but "Baby Einstein" is one of the
funniest. Sedaris recounts the occasion when his crude younger
brother, Paul, became a father. Sedaris writes about his brother
and new niece: "He held Madelyn up to the TV screen and she gave
a little, two-syllable cry that sounded to Paul like
‘whoopee!' but I interpreted as something closer to
‘help meeeee.'"
Next is New Parent
Power! by syndicated columnist and family
psychologist John Rosemond. Again, if you're a dad looking
for wisdom on how to raise a good kid, this book will help.
Rosemond's primary theory is that happy, healthy kids come
— more often than not — from parent-centered families.
That is, when the parents are the ones making the decisions, the
child will benefit. Parents are uniquely qualified to provide the
"powerful, stabilizing and nurturing" force at the center
of the family. In contrast, when "kids rule," look
out! While the title New Parent
Power!, sounds new age, the book is not.
Rosemond provides traditional theory, plans and advice for
specific challenges that arise with children from birth to age 19.
If you're a dad, you need this book.
Finally, for something a little lighter and a book
you can read to your little one, I suggest Danny
the Champion of the World by the late
great Welsh author Roald Dahl. This is a perfect father-son book:
imaginative, outrageous, adventurous and with just a little dab of
sweet emotion in passages like this: "I really loved those
morning walks to school with my father. We talked practically the
whole time. Mostly it was he who talked and I who listened, and
just about everything he said was fascinating."
The gist of the story is this: young Danny bonds
with his widower father when the father teaches him how to poach
pheasants from the property of mean Mr. Victor Hazell. Sounds a
little wacky and it is — which makes it vintage Roald Dahl.
And after you're finished reading this book, be sure to
head to the fantastic Roald Dahl website at, yep, you guessed it,
www.roalddahl.com. You've earned a little time on that new
computer.
Brian is the author of "The Newbie Dad," a monthly column appearing in
Western New York Family magazine (Buffalo, NY). The column has also
been read on National Public Radio's Morning Edition for member station
WBFO 88.7 FM in Buffalo and has been published in regional parenting
magazines in such cities as Charlotte, NC, Tulsa, OK, Milwaukee, WI,
and Rochester, NY. For more information or to contact Brian visit his website.
|
