Knot Passing Up The Chance To Pass On Fatherly Knowledge
"Dad, I need your help," my son said as he entered the room.
Hearing that admission from my almost 17-year-old warmed my heart. It
made me feel important. At this stage in his teenage-hood, that stage
of rapidly growing independence, it was nice to hear that my son needed
me for something.
"Do you need money?"
"No. At least not now," he said.
"Help with your homework?"
He snickered. I think the last time that I was able to help him with
his homework we were looking for rhyming words in magazines.
"I need to learn how to tie a necktie," he said.
He had several important events coming up where he needed to dress up.
I mean dress up by adult standards, not teenage standards. A teenager's
idea of getting dressed up usually means wearing clothes that are not
retrieved from the hamper or don't have Nike swooshes.
I was happy to help during this turning point in my son's life. There
are several things that boys should only learn from their fathers:
shaving, throwing a curveball, jump starting a dead car battery and
tying a necktie. (All information in areas such as "the facts of life"
should come from mothers.)
I grabbed a couple of ties from my closet and stood next to my son in
front of a mirror. We went through the drill over and over again. When
another one of my sons entered the room he grabbed a necktie and began
tying. Then my daughter joined us. Necktie Tying 101 was underway.
"How's this look?" one son asked.
"Like you've been in a fight. Try it again."
"What about this?" the other one asked.
"Is that a Windsor knot or an origami swan? Keep trying."
"Mine looks the best, doesn't it Daddy?" my daughter asked.
"Sweetheart, it's a necktie and not a bow tie. Keep trying."
Guys all know that neckties are stupid, but we wear them because that's what polite society expects of us.
Supposedly, the idea for the necktie came from the old Roman orators
who wore neck cloths to keep their vocal chords warm during boring and
long-winded speeches. Then around the year 1660, after its hard fought
victory over the Ottoman Empire, Croatian soldiers visited Paris. They
wore colored handkerchiefs around their necks and Louis XIV - a very GQ
guy for his day - adopted the fashion statement. Soon every
well-dressed Frenchman was wearing a necktie. Presumably it was
something their soldiers wore while surrendering or retreating during
wartime. From there the concept moved to England. The idea immigrated
to America where, in the 1970s, it evolved to the point where it became
fashionable to wear a necktie with a knot as big as your head.
The necktie actually serves several functions: it covers missing shirt
buttons, it gives guys something to violently tug on when angry at
their bosses, and tying a necktie gives men something to do when they
want to waste time before attending formal events.
Neckties do serve one more purpose: they give fathers the chance to
give their sons knot tying lessons. They give fathers something to
remember. Tim is the author of "From Wedgies to Feeding
Frenzies: A Semi-Survival Guide for Parents of Teens." To learn more
about the book, email Tim at
or log onto his website at www.timherrera.com.
