Following up from last month I've a number of important items to tell you about:

• AllProDad.com
  Hey Dads I just wanted to let you all know that I'm starting an All Pro Dad's Day monthly event here in Boise. Now you might be asking, "What good does that do me. I live a long way from Boise. Well, it won't do you much good at all unless you are interested in bringing the same program to your area. There's no cost to you except your time to meet once a month for about an hour. AllProDads will provide everything you need free of charge! All Pro Dad's Day is a simple, hour-long monthly or quarterly event that is designed to bring fathers and kids together with food, fun and inspiring speakers. Want to find out more?
   
• Fatherville Discussion Forum Running Smoothly
  Last month I converted the Fatherville discussion forum application and everything appears to be running smoothly. So if you haven't taken the time to check out the Fatherville Forums please do so today. You never know how you might be able to help another dad. Or someone else may have an answer to that 'dad related' question that's been plaguing you. Don't be shy. Become a part of the Fatherville community.
   
• Fatherville Tip of the Week
  Many of you have already subscribed to the Fatherville tip of the Week email and I'd like to say, "Thank you." It's a great way to receive simple fathering/parenting related tips that can really improve your fathering skills. If you haven't already done so please consider subscribing today. Oh, and did I mention the service is absolutely f-r-e-e!?
   
• If you are a new dad you can also sign-up for the Free 10 Week New Dad email course.
   
• Book recommendation: I've just completed an excellent book about the bond between a father and his son. If you have some time and you want to gain perspective on the importance of each moment we have with our children pickup the book: Raising Cole by Marc Pittman. Excellent!

Now on to the good stuff...

By Joe Kelly

 1. Listen to girls. I focus on what is really important--what my daughter thinks, believes, feels, dreams and does --rather than how she looks. I have a profound influence on how my daughter views herself. When I value my daughter for her true self, I give her confidence to use her talents in the world.

2. Encourage my daughter’s strength and celebrate her savvy. I help her learn to recognize, resist and overcome barriers. I help her develop her strengths to achieve her goals, help other people and help herself. I help her be what Girls Incorporated calls Strong, Smart and Bold!

3. Respect her uniqueness, Urge her to love her body and who she is. I tell and show my daughter that I love her for who she is and see her as a whole person, capable of anything. My daughter is likely to choose a life partner who acts like me and has my values. So, I treat her and those she loves with respect. Remember 1) growing girls need to eat often and healthy; 2) fad dieting doesn’t work, and 3) she has her body for what it can do, not how it looks. Advertisers spend billions to convince my daughter she doesn’t look “right.” I won’t buy into it.

4. Get her playing sports and being physically active. Start young to play catch, tag, jump rope, basketball, Frisbee, hockey, soccer, or just take walks…you name it! I help her learn the great things her body can do. Physically active girls are less likely to get pregnant, drop out of school, or put up with abuse. The most physically active girls have fathers who are active with them!

5. Get involved in my daughter’s school. I volunteer, chaperone, read to her class. I ask questions, like: Does her school use media literacy and body image awareness programs? Does it tolerate sexual harassment of boys or girls? Do more boys take advanced math and science classes and if so, why? (California teacher Doug Kirkpatrick’s girl students didn’t seem interested in science, so he changed his methods and their participation soared!) Are at least half the student leaders girls?

6. Get involved in my daughter’s activities. I volunteer to drive, coach, direct a play, teach a class—anything! I demand equality. Texas mortgage officer and volunteer basketball coach Dave Chapman was so appalled by the gym his 9-year-old daughter’s team had to use, he fought to open the modern “boy’s” gym to the girls’ team. He succeeded. Dads make a difference!

7. Help make the world better for girls. This world holds dangers for our daughters. But over-protection doesn’t work, and it tells my daughter that I don’t trust her! Instead, I work with other parents to demand an end to violence against females, media sexualization of girls, pornography, advertisers making billions feeding on our daughters’ insecurities, and all “boys are better than girls” attitudes.

8. Take my daughter to work with me. I participate in April’s Take Our Daughters & Sons to Work® Day and make sure my business participates. I show her how I pay bills and manage money. My daughter will have a job and pay rent some day, so I will introduce her to the world of work and finances!

9. Support positive alternative media for girls. Our family watches programs family that portray smart savvy girls. We get healthy girl-edited magazines like New Moon and visit online girl-run “’zines” and websites. I won’t just condemn what’s bad; I’ll also support and use media that support my daughter!

10.Learn from other fathers. Together, we fathers have reams of experience, expertise and encouragement to share – so let’s learn from each other. I use tools like the newsletter Daughters: For Parents of Girls (www.daughters.com). I put my influence to work – for example, Dads and Daughters protests have stopped negative ads. It works when we work together!

Respond to this article.

By Ken Canfield via fathers.com

Sometimes - especially with sons - you've got to "play hardball." If you're a father of boys, you have my prayers. They'll make you proud, but they also may make you crazy.

One of the key areas you need to address with your sons is their aggressiveness. I've seen it in my sons and in other boys in the neighborhood. I don't know if it's deliberate or not, but they try to push people around to get what they want. Sometimes it's physical, sometimes it's verbal, and sometimes it's expressed through a determined or stubborn will.

It's a guy thing, right? "Boys will be boys."

That's true. But they need a dad there to reel them in. I've seen a tendency in my sons and others to show disrespect - especially to women. Sometimes they try to manipulate their mother; or show disrespect for female teachers; they aren't always sensitive to their sisters.

You might say they like to "play hard ball" to get their way. You can see this kind of behavior completely out of control when you look at gang activity in our cities. Dads, we must teach our sons at an early age that we're not going to allow that kind of behavior. We have to show them that ... we can play hard ball, too.

Now I want to make it clear: it's never right for a dad to physically abuse children. Knocking them around the room never brings about positive results. That's not what I mean by "hard ball."

What I mean is doing what's necessary to help them learn to control their aggressiveness. They need to know that you're going to confront them about their actions. That means discipline, if necessary, carried out in an atmosphere of acceptance and love.

My wife Dee tells me there's a distinct difference between my sons' behavior when she reprimands them as opposed to when I lay down the law. They know I play hard ball.

We fathers can't just let our sons go off on their own. We have to shoulder the responsibility of raising responsible, respectful sons ... today.

Your wife will thank you. Your daughters will thank you. Your sons' teachers will thank you. And, some day, your son's wife and children will thank you.

Respond to this article.

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Until next month...hang in there dad!!

Michael E. Farrell
Fatherville.com - Where Real Fathers Write About Real Fatherhood

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