January 4, 2005
Fatherville.com Monthly Newsletter
Where Real Fathers Write About Real Fatherhood
Stepfathers New Dads Divorced Fathers Stay At Home Dads Home School Dads
Fathers of Teens Working Fathers Moneywise Dads Special Needs Dads Widowed Fathers Spiritual Dads
Welcome to the January 2005 edition of the Fatherville.com Newsletter. (Article Archives)

Since it's the beginning of a new year I thought it would be appropriate to set some new fathering goals for myself. I think these are attainable:

1. Before I arrive home from work and while I am in the car I will begin to mentally transition to the world that exist at home. So that when I cross the threshold I am mentally and physically accessible to my wife and children.

2. I will actively seek to enjoy the world my children live in. For example: when my daughter wants to play 'doll house' or 'dress up' I will thoroughly and completely engage with her in that activity.

3. I will be patient, understanding and encouraging with my 4 year old son when he refuses to pick up his toys. I will demonstrate my patience by gently reminding him that the toys are a privilege and if he wants to play with them then he needs to take care of them.

What are your goals as a father for this new year? You did remember to set some fathering goals for 2005 right? If not, here are some ideas to help get you started in the right direction:

  • Take some time to write down your goals as a father. What do you really want to accomplish as a dad? Phrase your ideas positively, such as "My goal is to always support my child by expressing my love and acceptance," rather than "I won't withdraw affection when I'm angry with my child." Make your goals reasonable, positive ones that consider your child's current abilities. With all the challenges of today's world, perhaps your greatest goal can be to provide the most love and support that you can.
  • Figure out how to reach those goals. If your goal is broad, add specifics to it. For instance, add the word "by…" to the goal "I want to be the best dad I can be," then finish the sentence, "I want to be the best dad I can be by providing and expressing love, support, and clear expectations for my child." Then keep going! "I'll know I've done this when I can feel reasonably in control of my reactions to my child; when I provide clear limits and guidelines for his behavior, and when I follow through consistently with my promises." Tinker with your goals until they capture your desire to care for your children and provide specific information about how to do so.
  • Put your goals into practice. After you've added specifics to your goals, try them out. This is the real work of parenting, so remember that it takes time, patience, and practice. When things get hectic it's easy to forget goals and get sloppy. You say "yes" when you mean "no," or "no" when you mean "let me think about it." You shout as a way of releasing your own tension.

To stick with your goals, you need to know yourself and your child. Are you grumpy after work? Is your child whiney when she's tired or hungry? Be aware of the situations that may be affecting how you act as a parent, and how your child responds.

What are your goals for this new year? Write and let us know how you've decided to improve yourself as a father. Did you know that simply writing your goals down greatly increases your chances of accomplishing them.

Now on to the good stuff...

In This Issue...

Recommend Fatherville.com

Around the Fatherville Site


Please tell another Father about the Fatherville.com Website.

 
Maximize Your Time

By Dr. Ken Canfield via Fathers.com

Face it, good fathering does take time. But time is limited, and we need to be wise if we're going to make the most of it. Here are four suggestions:

  • You have to start with priorities. What's getting your best time and energy? If I'm not spending enough time with my children but I'm wasting time in meaningless ways, I have to admit it and then do what is necessary to change. Maybe it's time for a good look in the mirror.
     
  • Second, make yourself available at any time. When you can't be with your child, if he knows he can reach you and talk to you, that makes a big difference. Some dads who have important meetings leave word that even when they want all their calls to be held, they'll still talk to their wife or kids. That leaves them open to interruptions that may seem trivial. But it's important to reinforce they're available -- and it sends a message to their colleagues about their priorities.
     
  • Third, when you are together, give your child all your attention. When you finally do carve out a few minutes to read a book or play a game with your daughter, don't try to eat dinner, watch TV and carry on another conversation at the same time. Also try entire "daddy days" with a child, where she plans the whole day's activities. It's a huge deposit in your child's relational bank account.
     
  • Fourth, don't use money as a daddy substitute. Few kids would complain initially about getting expensive gifts from their dad. But the joy and excitement quickly fade. And in the long run, they'll resent that you gave them "stuff" instead of yourself. We all know young people who have a full toy box and a full garage, but an empty heart. And it breaks my heart. A good approach might be that for every new toy you give, you also commit to make time to play with the child and the toy.

    You've probably heard me say that for kids, love is spelled T-I-M-E. Dads, let's make the most of the time and the opportunities we have.

    Ken Canfield

Article reprinted with permission: © Fathers.com www.fathers.com All Rights Reserved.

Respond to this article.

"You Can Laugh At Money Worries - If You Follow This Simple Plan"
Do you sometimes have more month than money? Ever wonder how to dig out of the hole of debt? Maybe someone you know is
struggling. In today's uncertain times with tens of thousands being laid off, this is one step you can take now to make your
future more certain.

Start The New Year Right...By Becoming Debt Free

Fatherhood Writers Wanted

Are you interested in writing fathering related articles for Fatherville.com? We are always looking for dads who like to write. If you are interested please contact us.

NEW DADS---NEW DADS---NEW DADS---NEW DADS---NEW DADS---NEW DADS---NEW DADS---NEW DADS

Are you a new dad? Would you be interested in sharing your new fathering experiences with other new fathers? We are looking for one father who would would be willing to write about his new fatherhood experiences, on a once a month basis, over a one year period and allow Fatherville.com to publish your experiences on the Fatherville.com website. As a special incentive Fatherville.com will reward the qualifying father with three fathering related books* of choice from Amazon.com (up to a total cost of $60.00)

Note: None of the fathers who contribute to the Fatherville.com web site are financially compensated for their contributions. However you will be richly rewarded by the interaction that takes place between our readership and you, the potential author. So c'mon dad...give it a go. You never know when your fatherhood experiences will touch the life of another father.

Start The New Year Off Right.
Isn't It Time You Express Your Fatherhood?

Awesome T-Shirts 
for Dads and Grandpa's

T-Shirts Make Great Gifts

Buy One Now

  • Our shirts are 100% g-u-a-r-a-n-t-e-e-d from defects in materials and workmanship.
  • If you aren't 100% satisfied you can return them to us in there original condition for a prompt credit, exchange or full refund and we'll be friendly about it too with no hassles.
  • Order 4 or more shirts and receive free shipping
  • Enjoy the comfort of 100% preshrunk cotton t-shirts.(Long and Short Sleeved t-shirts available.)
  • Adult Sweatshirts are 50% Cotton, 50% Polyester for maximum durability
  • Over 150 Father, Dad, and Grandfather related T-shirts to select from
  • Select one of your own and declare that you are GLAD to be Dad
  • Starting as low as $13.95. Don't wait. Order yours now.
  • When you buy a shirt you are helping to support Fatherville.com

Buy One Now

 Click Here-->Parenting, Fathers, Fatherhood, Dads, New Dads, Divorced Fathers, Special Needs Fathers...<--Click Here
 

Until next month...hang in there dad!!

Michael E. Farrell
Fatherville.com - Where Real Fathers Write About Real Fatherhood

You may reach me anytime via email at: mike@fatherville.com

 

The Fatherville.com Monthly Newsletter is among the most popular and widely read monthly fatherhood newsletters in the world!
Statement Of Compliance with Federal CAN-SPAM Act (S.877)

You are receiving this email in strict compliance with the new Federal Laws concerning email which supersedes all current state laws.

-Our newsletter is a permission-based system, which avoids most of the regulations focusing on S-P-A-M. Fatherville.com has never allowed the sending of Unsolicited Commercial Emails (U.C.E. or SPAM). Your email address was collected by Fatherville.com and we have a clearly stated privacy policy allowing the sending of offers to your address. These sources and verification of such has been internally audited.

-Our email header information is not misleading or deceptive. Our header is set by our servers and is in full compliance.

-Our newsletters "From" address is verified and accurately identifies us as the sender, putting us in full compliance.

-Our system provides an opt-out method at the bottom of every email sent, meeting the new Federal standard.

-Our System automatically processes all of the subscriber opt-out requests within the ten(10) day legal requirement.

-Our mailing address is now attached at the end of each email in compliance with federal regulations.

Mailing Address:
Fatherville.com
578 E. Cougar Drive
Meridian, Idaho 83642

If you would like your email address removed from this monthly newlsetter simply enter your email address below:

Email address: