March 1, 2004
Fatherville.com Monthly Newsletter
Total Readership: 2,782
Stepfathers New Dads Divorced Fathers Stay At Home Dads Home School Dads
Fathers of Teens Working Fathers Empty Nest Fathers Special Needs Dads Widowed Fathers
Welcome to the March 2004 edition of the Fatherville.com Newsletter. (Article Archives)

It's time for you to speak your mind. No more lurking in the shadows.

I'd really like to get your feedback. What are your main concerns as a parent--and as a dad? Tell me what gives you the most distress and causes the most worry? What keeps you up at night? (besides your baby's crying). I'm inviting you to tell me what's on your mind as it relates to being a father. 

It doesn't matter where you are in your fatherhood journey. I want to know because I want this site and the Fatherville monthly newsletter to address your concerns and questions. I want this site to be relevant. Sure, the site has great articles and provides great parenting tips. But what you really want is timely, useful and informative ideas on how best to navigate the path of fatherhood. So don't be shy. Tell me what's on your mind. 

And while you are at it. If you've got an idea for improving the Fatherville website please let me know. I want the site to be the best fathering site on the web.

Now on to the good stuff...


In This Issue...

Recommend Fatherville.com

Around the Fatherville Site


Please tell another Father about the Fatherville.com Website.

 

TV, Video Games, and Your Kids

By Mark Brandenburg via markbrandenburg.com

There's been a great debate in our country for the last number of years concerning violent TV and video games.

There are thousands of studies indicating that there's a link between violent video images and increased aggressiveness and violence in children. There are also studies that say there's little relationship between the two, and that there may even be some visual/spatial benefits that kids receive from video games.

According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, the average child in this country will see 200,000 acts of violence by the time they're eighteen. Common sense tells me this is probably not benefiting them.

But the truth is that it's difficult to prove the exact impact that these images have on kids.

For parents, this may be the wrong question to be asking. Perhaps there are other issues here that would be useful to consider.

As a coach who works with parents, I see the frequent power struggles that come up around video games and TV watching. When I see young kids in front of a screen, I wonder about all of the other things those kids might be doing.

But it's extremely difficult to be a parent without the "electric babysitter" these days, especially considering how busy parents are today. There is also the added complication of other parents who allow greater access to video games and TV to their kids.

So what do you do about this issue? How about using your gut instinct and taking a firm stand?

A while back my wife and I decided that when our kids were young we'd like them to spend the large majority of their time interacting with other human beings, not screens. We also realized that at some point in the future this may change. But because of this decision, we're sometimes looked at as peculiar by people we know. And while it does cause some hardship, we haven't regretted it for a moment. It simply seemed like the right thing to do.

I would challenge all parents to look at this issue and to make a decision about what kind of family culture you want. And don't base it on what the Jones' are doing across the street or what popular culture tells you to do. Make your decision, set your limits, and do your kids an enormous service by standing by your limits, no matter what. Firmly and respectfully state that, "this is what we do in our house" and then stand by it.

I don't know if video games and violent TV make kids more violent. And I don't think TV or video games are inherently evil.

I just want the best for my kids, because they'll only be kids once in their life.


Mark Brandenburg MA, CPCC, is the author of “25 Secrets of Emotionally Intelligent Fathers” 

For more great tips and action steps for fathers, sign up for his FREE bi-weekly newsletter, “Dads, Don’t Fix Your Kids,” at http://www.markbrandenburg.com.

Respond to this article.


Advertisement

Invest in YOUR Success

Ever wondered how your boss got where he is? It's not that difficult if you choose the right path to invest in YOUR success! ChoiceHorizons can help you get where you want to go with your investments -- time and money. Rise above the rest and take action to make YOUR success possible! > Click Here <


Your Fathering Job Description

Remember when you held your first baby in your arms and—probably not out loud—asked yourself, “Now what do I do?” You didn’t get an answer, did you? 

Well, dad, I’m glad you’re seeking new insights and information to be the best dad you can be. 

At work, a job description helps keep you on task for your company. But what about a “job description for dads”? It’s important for dads—of all ages—to think through issues, plan our strategy, and begin to put it into place. 

Your job description for fatherhood probably should begin with expectations. You may sense certain expectations from our culture, from co-workers, from your parents or your in-laws. But a good place to start is with the expectations carried by you and your wife. 

First, it’s vital that you recognize and understand your father’s impact on your life, because that’s where you first received messages about what a father does. None of our fathers were perfect, so it’s important for us to understand their shortcomings as well as carry forward their strengths. 

Then, talk intentionally with your wife. She is an essential parenting partner, and like you, her expectations for you will be influenced by her father. If her dad was absent or abusive, she may find it difficult to trust you with the children. If her father was present but emotionally disconnected, she may not appreciate the unique assets you bring to the parenting team. If she had a close, loving relationship with him, she may have high expectations and you may feel pressure to live up to an unrealistic ideal. 

Discuss all of those issues. Help her understand your ideas about fathering, and listen closely to her perspective. Ask her what she expects of you as a father. Get specific. Talk about daily caretaking duties, the amount of time spent with the kids, discipline, navigating work and family issues, moral and spiritual training, the priority of your marriage, and other values related to childrearing. 

Once you’ve defined what is realistic to expect from yourself as a dad, I suggest verbalizing your commitment to that role. Define “father” as a verb, not a noun. Resolve to live out your commitment to your children day by day.

Ken Canfield via Fathers.com

Respond to this article

cover
Congratulations! You're Gonna Be a Dad!
Only $8.79
cover
Do I Look Like a Daddy To You?
Only $11.16

7 Tips for Encouraging Your Child To Read

1. Set the example. Spend time reading daily with your child.

2. Teach your child the different purposes that reading serves. Reading for pleasure, information, education so that your child learns different reading techniques.

3. Allow your child to subscribe to one magazine. Let your child choose the magazine, as long as it's appropriate. Children, who are allowed to develop their own reading tastes, read more than children, who are forced to read what others want them to read.

4. Reading is a part of daily life. Make reading relevant to your child. If he or she likes to cook, discuss how reading recipes helps make you a better cook. If he or she likes sports, then talk about reading the sports page.

5. Get a family library card and USE IT!

6. Reward your child for reading! Buy him or her a book that you loved as a child and read it together.

7. Read poetry. There are many great children's poets out there. Poetry for children tends to be funny, engaging, and fairly easy to read. Read it aloud.

Permission: Reading Is Fundamental


Fatherhood Writers Wanted

Are you interested in writing fathering related articles for Fatherville.com? We are always looking for dads who like to write. If you are interested please contact us.

STEPFATHERS---STEPFATHERS---STEPFATHERS---STEPFATHERS---STEPFATHERS---STEPFATHERS

Are you a stepfather? Would you be interested in sharing your stepfathering experiences with other stepathers? We are looking for one stepfather who would would be willing to contribute his stepfathering experiences, on a monthly basis, over a one year period and allow Fatherville.com to publish his experiences on the Fatherville.com website. As a special incentive Fatherville.com will reward the qualifying father with three fathering related books of choice from Amazon.com.

Note: None of the fathers who contribute to the Fatherville.com web site are financially compensated for their contributions. However you will almost certainly be richly rewarded by the interaction that takes place between our readership and you, the potential author. So c'mon dad...give it a go. You never know when your fatherhood experiences will touch the life of another father.


Isn't It Time You Express Your Fatherhood?

Awesome T-Shirts 
for Dads and Grandpa's


T-Shirts Make Great Gifts

Buy One Now

  • Our shirts are 100% g-u-a-r-a-n-t-e-e-d from defects in materials and workmanship.
  • If you aren't 100% satisfied you can return them to us in there original condition for a prompt credit, exchange or full refund and we'll be friendly about it too with no hassles.
  • Order 4 or more shirts and receive f*r*e*e shipping
  • Enjoy the comfort of 100% preshrunk cotton t-shirts.(Long and Short Sleeved t-shirts available.)
  • Adult Sweatshirts are 50% Cotton, 50% Polyester for maximum durability
  • Over 150 Father, Dad, and Grandfather related T-shirts to select from
  • Select one of your own and declare that you are GLAD to be Dad
  • Starting as low as $13.95. Don't wait. Order yours now.
  • When you buy a shirt you are helping to support Fatherville.com

Buy One Now


  Books for First Time Fathers

cover
Congratulations! You're Gonna Be a Dad!
$8.79 

cover
Do I Look Like a Daddy To You?
$11.16

Books for Stay At Home Fathers

cover
The Stay At Home Parent Survival Guide
$10.47

cover
Stay At Home Dads
The Essential Guide to Creating the New Family

$14.00

Books for Divorced Fathers

cover
Live-Away Dads: Staying a Part of Your Children's Lives When They Aren't a Part of Your Home
$10.36

cover
Wednesday Evenings and Every Other Weekend
$20.00


 

Until next month...hang in there dad!!

Michael E. Farrell
Fatherville.com - Where Real Fathers Write About Real Fatherhood

You may reach me anytime via email at: mike@fatherville.com


Statement Of Compliance with Federal CAN-SPAM Act (S.877)

You are receiving this email in strict compliance with the new Federal Laws concerning email which supersedes all current state laws.

-Our newsletter is a permission-based system, which avoids most of the regulations focusing on S-P-A-M. Fatherville.com has never allowed the sending of Unsolicited Commercial Emails (U.C.E. or SPAM). Your email address was collected by Fatherville.com and we have a clearly stated privacy policy allowing the sending of offers to your address. These sources and verification of such has been internally audited.

-Our email header information is not misleading or deceptive. Our header is set by our servers and is in full compliance.

-Our newsletters "From" address is verified and accurately identifies us as the sender, putting us in full compliance.

-Our system provides an opt-out method at the bottom of every email sent, meeting the new Federal standard.

-Our System automatically processes all of the subscriber opt-out requests within the ten(10) day legal requirement.

-Our mailing address is now attached at the end of each email in compliance with federal regulations.

Mailing Address:
Fatherville.com
578 E. Cougar Drive
Meridian, Idaho 83642