Huh? Well I'm sure that makes a lot of sense. But before you dismiss this week's synaptic leap from reality, consider the number of people you know, right now... that you would list among the walking wounded on the battlefield of life. People you know. Some of which you encounter each day who have actually given up on life itself.
Have you thought about those people? People who don't care what time of day it is..."it's the wrong time!" People who no matter how good something might be, they can always find something wrong. People who keep hoping tomorrow will be better, because today, no matter what day, is rotten. And they'll make your day rotten too.
Know who and what I mean? I mean you meet them all the time...in stores; at work; in the mall; at PTA meetings, and even in church. It may be because to some it's a religion. And they're evangelical about their religion. If they're having a bad time, why can't they share it by giving it to someone else? And it can travel the airwaves surfing the best fiber optics can offer as they reach out and touch you via AT&T, MCI, or US Sprint. They'll find a way to segue your happiness into their sadness. And then make you wonder why it is you called them? Did you really expect them to be interested in what lovely weather you were having? Did you really think they'd be happy to hear about a recent promotion, or bonus? Don't tell them you found Jesus because they'll tell you yours is a fraud! They found the real Jesus, He talks to them all the time and even the National Enquirer wasn't interested.
So now you understand a little of what I'm saying...I have further news for you. In many cases, our lives are even more complicated. Since we can pick and choose who our friends may be, but we can't always do that with our family. (Remember that when you call.) Yet you know who many of these people are. That's right; I knew a person such as those who read this column had to be that smart. As I'm sure you know that in many cases some of these people who prostrate themselves at the altar of "one-downmanship" are in some way related to you. It might be a sister, brother, cousin, uncle or aunt. Dads too, work their way into this as does everyone's favorite in-law, your spouse's mom. And they all make you feel "umbilically" connected, knowing there's no surgeon around that can free you from this gestation period that can last an eternity...if you let it. And some of you do! Then some of you don't. That's right, some of you don't.
Recently I called my 95-year-old Aunt Louise. And for all of you who don't have an Aunt Louise who thinks every moment she has is on loan from God, you don't know what you're missing! At 85, for Christmas she got herself a new car, and when her daughter-in-law got up after the crack of dawn one day, Aunt Louise was no where to be found. I know, because me, with my infinite way to procrastinate, I was also too late to catch her. There's an hour's time difference, you see, and I was allowing her a chance to sleep in--giving my then 85-year-old Aunt Louise a chance to rest. Well I was informed that 'Mrs. Tyson is out getting her car registered, and whatever else needs to be done for it.' I had images of my Aunt Louise driving with her glasses so thick she appears to have a solid investment in the Coca Cola bottle company...that's the original company who still made bottles when Aunt Louise was my age. And who knows, she might be able to see better than I can. I know at 85, she'd driven longer than I am old. And at 95, she still has the "joy de vivre" that makes life what it should be.
It's her spirit that makes me realize that maybe it's in the blood. That I too have a little bit of that blood that'll keep me going like Irene Ryan sung in the musical Pippin, "I believe if I refuse to grow old, I'll stay young until I die." It's that attitude "to look for the good" that'll sustain me; it's that attitude that'll put smiles on my kids faces; it's that attitude that'll make me happy. I have relatives and in-laws I can annoy by at least trying to maintain a bit of serendipity about me, regardless of how cruel a hand they might think life may have dealt them.
I know I'm not the only one who has an Aunt Louise. But I can try to maintain her spirit as my kids learn life isn't so much what you are dealt, but what you do with what you're dealt. So dads, life may not be what you planned it to be last year. Put that behind you. Dads, as you look toward the upcoming year there will be things you encounter you'd not planned. Therefore, I give you these words of encouragement. We must plan on living life to its fullest. Grab each moment and hold on to it as long as you can. Try not to let people pull you down, and if they start, ask a dad to pray for you.as I'm praying for each of you reading this column. And if you have an Aunt Louise who's 80, 90 or 100, give her call, and remember, one day you too might be able to go buy a new car at 85.
Archie Wortham lives with his wife, Suzan of 23 years, and their two
sons Myles (12), and Jeremy (16) in Universal City, Texas, a suburb of
San Antonio. Retired from the military in 1996, for nine years he wrote
a dad's column originally called "Jeremy's Dad," then called
"Jeremyles' Dad," named after both his sons. He now writes a column in
San Antonio called "Men 2 Fathers." Archie also maintains the Fatherhood site,
you may contact him by email at
